Andrea Nemerson

Sexual evolution

alt.sex.column says so long -- and thanks for all the fish

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Dear Readers:

We are not calling this column "So Long And Thanks For All The Fish." But this is, for good or ill, the final Alt Sex Column. So, you know, so long, and thanks for all the fish.

ASC debuted online in 1997, around the time going online was first moving from optional to something you'd better do if you didn't want to get left behind. If I'm going to look back at what has changed in all this time, I could just type out "Internet" and hit send. Or not.Read more »

alt.sex.column: Not the gerbil!

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Dear Andrea:

I was wondering, is gerbil-stuffing for real, or just made up?

Love,

Hadda Ask

Dear Hadda:Read more »

alt.sex.column: Positive too negative?

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Dear Andrea:

I'm having a problem with my girlfriend. "Grace" is the hottest girl I've ever dated, but things aren't going so well. She is possessive and gets mad at me for wanting to do anything she doesn't want to (like going hiking or anything outdoors), and wants to know where I am every second, and who I talked to, and was she pretty, etc., etc. We used to have great sex, but lately I can't come no matter what she does. It used to be just looking at her could practically make me come. Can this be fixed?

Love,Read more »

alt.sex.column: Positive too negative?

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Dear Andrea:

I'm a 40-something M2F transsexual woman (though my gender status isn't that important). I recently met a great guy I'll call John and I've developed feelings for him. I'd jump his bones in two seconds except for one thing; he's HIV-positive.

Love,

Paralyzed

Dear Para:

It would be hard to come up with a decision more individual and personal than this one. Plus, this isn't a situation where I can pooh-pooh your concerns. Of course you have concerns. I have them for you.Read more »

Need a shrink?

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Dear Andrea:

Due to a prostate operation, my penis is quite small and I cannot get a proper erection. Will the Fleshlight work for me?

Love,

Shrinky Dink

Dear Shrink:

First off, allow me to apologize for the terrible nom de Altsex I stuck you with. I am a bad person. But I am also very sorry for your woes. Postsurgical shrinkage and erectile dysfunction are both common and totally NOT FAIR.Read more »

Anticlimax

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Dear Andrea:

I'm living with my first "serious" girlfriend and everything is great except the sex. As far as I can tell, she is having orgasms but I'm not. When we have sex I have to finish myself off with my hand. I don't think it's supposed to go this way.

Love,

Disappointed

Dear Dis:

You don't say whether you've ever had intercourse with anyone else before Serious, but I'm going to guess not.Read more »

alt.sex.column: Once bi-tten

Some second thoughts on bisexual advice

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Dear Readers:

In a recent column I asked the, um, asker (how can I have had this column for over a decade and still not know what to call the people who ask me questions?) what exactly she thought people would assume about her if she came out with it and identified herself to new acquaintances as bi.Read more »

alt.sex.column: Fine bi me

"Is it OK to tell people, or should I just shut up?"

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Dear Andrea:

I'm a woman who likes women and men. I'm been in a serious relationship with a man several years. Having recently moved back to my home town, I'm wondering about something. My close friends know about my orientation (I don't like the word 'bisexual' because of all its connotations and my general reluctance to label myself) but now I'm meeting new people, colleagues, etc., and I feel weird about not addressing this important part of my life. Is it OK to tell people, or should I just shut up?Read more »

Flipping out

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Dear Readers:

I get a lot of press releases and ignore them unless they're for books, kid stuff, or sex toys. But I have been remiss on one count: I have not solicited any samples of sex stuff aimed at men. There is something inherently humorous about fucking an inanimate object (see Portnoy, Alexander and Pie, American) that simply doesn't seem to apply to the dainty art of buzzing yourself to glory . Object-humping is not dignified.Read more »